Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Some amendments I’d like to make to ill informed Citizen’s last post.
The true origins of the Guinness Book of Records can indeed be traced back to Castlebridge, Wexico. Down south o’ the border with his good pal W.B. Nunn, slave owner and proprietor of the of Castlebridge grain store, Arthur went out for a spot o’ shootin’ on Ardcavan’s North Slob (swear to Ken Dodd, Wiki it if ya want) After shootin’ at many a wild fowl and a couple o’ tame felines the boys went back to Castlebridge house to imbibe a sup (Arthur has been reported to have been a mad annoyin’ bastard, always sayin’ “Look, I’m drinkin’ meself!”) As the evenin’ wore on and the boys became more and more inebriated on the intoxicating water soot, an argument arose concerning who had shot the most cats that day. W.B. that he had shot eight and Guinness had shot four, while Arthur insisted that W.B. shot nothin’. Before long the evening had deteriorated into fisticuffs and name calling. W.B., a renowned pugilist, most definitely had the upper hand when Afrika Bambaataa arrived in from a twenty two hour shift at the grain store. Afrika broke up the fight (though the name calling continued for some minutes) When W.B. explained what the fight was about Afrika suggested that instead of fighting that they should have a duel – the battle of the DJs was born. Lashing together a couple o’ hornographs Afrika invented the decks while W.B. fetched his ‘78s. As the boys got into the duel Malcolm McLaren swung by for a listen to the new underground sound and Afrika taught him how to spell Zulu. The duel was a solid draw and everyone went to bed pleased with the new music movement that they had just created, though W.B. was a smidge concerned that he may have ruined his bakolites. Returning to Dublin, Arthur trawled record shops, hunting for sounds to mix for his own unique blend. Knowing that he could easily collect more records in Dublin than W.B. could in Wexico, Guinness proposed that they have a competition to see who could amass the largest collection o’ ‘78s. He kept a note of all the records he collected in a small ledger, soon after renamed a book.